God's pencil

2007-11-25T21:44:00.000+08:00

I dream to have a christian family, one where money is never an issue or where there is no such thing as 'i'm losing out'. She, the ever loving and kind mother, will bake and cook a feast every day just to invite friends and close ones to her humble home, even if it's not very big or even if the kids who come leave so many fingerprints on the walls. She'll always be curious about everyone's day and would want to be involved in everyone's life. Such a quiet and gentle spirit that would shine like no other star doing everything she can like there's no tomorrow and giving everything like God would want her to.
He would be the master of the household, firm in his beliefs yet so forgiving, and always submitting everything he does to God. Sons would be called and treated like buddies and daughters, princesses. Family time would be his priority, and even if he doesnt make the most money, it will never bother him. Being a leader and an example for his family, he'll initiate devotionals and fun times, yet remembering at the same time to be outwardly focused. Together, their love would outlast any challenges and it would be purely based on God's love for them.
Their kids would be happy and innocent ones, eager to learn about the Lord and showing kindness and joy at their tender ages. Nobody would find them shouting and quarelling or stepping on each other's toes over 'who started it first'. Instead, they would be so excited to share their toys and pray for each other every night. They would be the closest of friends.
The family would be a loving one, and only laughter would be heard at the dinner table. It'll never be quiet there. Their home would be a favourite place for bible studies, for students to hang out at or to study at, or for sisters to bake and have wonderful tea-times together. Music would fill the house, and the aroma of freshly-baked cookies would be smelt from a street away. Such a wonderful household would be awesome, yet considering itself below others.
This would be the most perfect thing to have. In my world, that is.

beware! going off course

2007-11-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

A potential sudden surge of freedom from studying and being confined to my desk really floods me with so many ideas about what to do after the As - crazy thoughts of going for faraway holidays, going shopping like nobody's business, working multiple jobs to finance the earlier fantasy, etc; it all leads me back to square one. I fail to remember what i really aim for - to grow so much more spiritually as i finally have the time to sit back and reflect on the past months. Things i haven't done for a long time i cast aside; yet i place trivial things the world deems as 'having a life' on the top of my list.

I can't help but think of Proverbs 16:9, which says "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps". I've got to learn to rely and have faith in what He has planned, each little step along the way. Planning it all my way is certainly not going to work out as well as i think it to be.So instead of flinching at the thought of putting aside time for bible studies, bible talks, spending time with sisters, and what-nots that's actually to my benefit, I pray for myself to be more initiative and fired up for the Lord. =)

For now, I should get back to my notes and do God proud through the As! (that includes discpline in food intake while I'm at it as well =p)

wiping off the dust

2007-10-31T23:54:00.000+08:00

i figured it's better to pen down thoughts when i ought to.

but it's really hard to think of what to write here when my mind is so saturated with math and chem.
oh well.

2007-07-15T00:38:00.001+08:00

i may not be as good as many others, but i don't want to lose the fighting spirit and the want to improve always.
i may not acquire as many skills, musical knowledge or experience, but i'd like to always bear in my heart the same love for the music i play.
i may not be the perfect disciple, but i want to glorify God with the things i do, however small they are.

the walk down the next couple of months will definitely take a toll on me, and i'll be much busier than i was for the time i've been in jc. but i'd like to keep things simple - everything based on a life worthy in the eyes of God. Grant me strength i need, Lord.

2007-06-29T09:33:00.000+08:00

CTs were over since wed! i think i've learnt so much more about how to not let the worries choke me. like really. i wasnt even nervous before econs.

then a bunch of us went for lunch and a movie at orchard! surfs up is a cool movie =) although i didnt think that way when i saw it's commercials and before the movie even. then it was out with my mom for almost the whole day yesterday.

after the whole month of holidays spent studying with fio and jac, it's been so weird to not see them at all this week. oh well today's friday and the bbq should be around the corner! =) oh yes and it'll be tennis with yi rong on sunday. haha i must be sooo rusty. with an oxidation state of 5 or something. iron(V)oxide - silvia's new invention.

2007-06-19T01:16:00.000+08:00

SEA conference was awesome! many lessons learnt, great life applications and examples brought forward, inspiring speakers backed up with amazing lives, uplifting performances, and best of all, great warmth and love from disciples all over the world =D (so it sounds more like a world conference haha)

jac and i were talking about how our lives would be like if we decided to not come back to church before and we really went on and on during the bus ride. ok maybe we exaggerated just a little, but im sure things would still be so much more different than it is now. im thankful for my life =) and yeah im learning little by little not to let worries choke me. all i can do is to scatter seed, and do my best in what i can control. so sisters, let's work hard to the end!

2007-06-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

This life, therefore,

is not righteousness but growth in righteousness,

not health but healing,
not being but becoming,

not rest but exercise.

We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it;

the process is not yet finished but it is going on.

This is not the end but this is the road;

all does not yet gleam in glory but all is being purified.

-Martin Luther

I like this quote =)

2007-05-30T22:36:00.000+08:00

i wish there was something that could make me go, but no, i guess i've lost that motivation to travel all the way and play tirelessly under the hot sun. there's nothing to work towards now, and all that's been happening has made me feel as if i was just there to be made use of. i dont think i'd give it up totally though; i just dont know what to do with it now. yes, i miss trainings, sweating like crazy but loving it, running non-stop even when i felt so tired. i guess going back to those days of solo playing isnt as easy as i thought.

2007-05-21T23:00:00.000+08:00

what a tournament draw we've gotten! yi rong/eliza are playing against allysa/maricelle. it's going to be really interesting lol. i hope they play like they did in rp and during the vj match respectively! it'll be like WOAH. but no matter who wins, i think we'll all go down to support the pair cause the next opponent's against christine fong and her partner. =)

i'll be playing against my opponent whom i met during our rp friendlies, provided she wins her first match. i lost to her 6-3 the last time! i guess i need to just play the game without fearing the opponent this time. hussle! i'll enjoy my last spex age group match! =)

2007-05-20T12:43:00.000+08:00

woke up at 6am this morning to find myself with a fever of 38.3 degrees. the 2nd fever i've gotten within a short period of time, considering i seldom fall ill. i hope erica's doing fine too =)
i'm still feeling quite weak even though i slept for so long. ahhh and i had to miss church =( i think they're doing the singing thing now with uncle matthew.

anyway we had a great time at the botanical gardens yesterday =D bible talk and then egyptian baseball! i dont know why it's called egyptian but the edited version of baseball with the running around in circles and using a spongy bat and ball was definitely as fun =) the slight fever at that time seemed to be gone while we were playing! hahaha i even ate ice-cream =p

i'm supposed to play tennis with yi rong in the evening later too but i guess i cant. many more weekends during this break still! =) i cant wait for many things during the hols - the mini teens retreat and baby-sitting, practising with yng yng for my viola exam, studying =/, hahaha i've got to learn to love my notes. ang! remember our goal of the top 2 positions! haha

2007-05-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

im afraid i'll drift. or have i already done so? temptations are so strong, i find myself constantly struggling to keep out. Lord, please be my guide.

2007-05-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

tennis tmr! (hopefully) and on thurs and on sat. i should be going back to spex just to visit coach and the boys and play with them again =) hopefully i wont be too rusty this week.

anyway, string practices and performances have been good =D im not sure if i want to continue playing there still though.. i've got to plan and stick to my plans strictly from now on. and somehow find my motivation to study hard.

jac came over to study today! was quite quiet when we started cause everyone in the house was, but once my mom went to the gym and my bro to his friend's house, everything was less tense. hahaha at least it helped us start studying seriously. but it was nice talking about stuff and catching up with each other and wanting to plan our studying days in june =) jogging together before each studying session sounds fun haha but we've to really do it!

well, school again tmr. i shall reallyyyyyyy try not to fall asleep during lectures and tutorials. and i hope that i can still run tmr for 2.4 lol. i havent run for such a long time. cant wait for fri! =)

2007-05-01T13:50:00.000+08:00

im coughing so badly and im running for some heats tmr. and im supposed to take the 5 stations thing too. ahhhh i just want to get well and play tennis =(

2007-04-22T23:20:00.000+08:00

ahh i miss nationals even though it just ended on fri (at least for us). i miss going out there each time as a team playing our best and trying to constantly think of smart ways to beat our opponents. i must say it has been a ride! and i do feel very sorry for cj cause there are good players there but i guess they lost to the lobbers the same way we did. it's sad what they write on their blogs though (i mean the lobsters)

well anyway im hoping for friendlies to keep the momentum of match playing going! i dont know if i should join spex again since it's the last time i can join the junior one. mwaahahah im 18 already. and i so want to go back once for spex training! i miss playing with everyone there although i heard there are many new people there already. but still, coach nigel's there and the cat high boys are too. they've been playing so well for inter-schools cause they're in the finals! really hope they win =) ahhhh what to do what to do.. tennis always perks me up =D

i should really put in more effort to catch up on work though. less time on the com (and on spider solitaire) and more time with people and work =) anyway this week's mostly a break from tennis except for a nationals debrief on wed but im going for string practices again! =D=D hope it'll be fun cause im playing with them for some performance this thu at the esplanade =) i think it's some free thing where anyone can go see or something so do come if you can :D ahahah so many smileys

another week of school, but im going to be strong =) i really pray jac's fever goes down soon. drink more water and no literature when you're burning please! and to fio, be courageous and smile! text me or give me a call whenever you feel like it k =D

2007-04-14T18:38:00.000+08:00

i've been playing tennis every day for the past week! national schools tournament has started too and we've played against vj and cj. im still proud of the team even though we didnt get what we hoped for, and im so so happy that i've been playing so much better than usual. maybe because i've been playing against the strongest players of both schools which make me really want to hustle for every ball. let's all do even better this week, giving our opponents the hardest time! that was my mindset for the match against vanessa boey =) really helped a lot. heard there are quite a few strong singles for the next school, but nahhh it can't be worse than playing against the 2nd seeded in singapore right hahahha

my mind's really into tennis now. lol cant help it even during lessons! my thoughts just drift off to my matches. i think i'd still want to play in uni (if i can ever make it into the team hahaha). yi rong!! go to nus lah, then we can play together again =)

ahhh i know i've got so much work this weekend! i better stay focused and pray =) just like my matches. prayer helps so much! thanks joyce for praying with me halfway through my match. really strengthened my mind to play so much better. it was when i was 6-1 down and then it became 7-6!

ok anyway i'll be going to auntie cynthia's house to study with fiona and jac later! =)

emotions like a rollercoaster

2007-04-02T22:20:00.000+08:00

i dont know what to feel sometimes. as much as i try to remain positive, optimistic, wanting to fight and hustle, it all seems so futile and i lose it all. after that i'd think it over and wish i didnt feel that way, but it would soon come back. how many times must i remind myself or be reminded that i have the ability to fight? i pray so dearly for strength, wisdom, courage, determination each time i play, but it's my lack of trust in the Lord that pulls me down yet again. how can i ever get out of this rollercoaster ride?

tired

2007-03-31T00:22:00.000+08:00

well i guess i havent typed anything here for quite some time now. many things have happened for the whole month! the girls have been training a lot recently =) i really like the team :D nationals are coming soon, 11th april actually, and we're playing vj first. it's going to be tough, but im really praying for strength to fight. lost my match with rp today though; she was a much smarter player than i am. still, i learnt some things from the match =) but im glad i was really hitting the balls and trying to aim for the sides. most importantly, i pray that everyone will be healthy and energized for each match! =D

didnt do quite well for most of my common test papers, but i find it so hard to concentrate on it really well now cause my mind's always on tennis in school. i know i need to focus. it always drifts to picturing how i can hit the ball better and where i should place it and you-name-it. i should learnt from astrid and jelene! haha i remember jelene doing some econs essay/case-study while waiting for the afternoon matches during nationals last year. and astrid's like the most hardworking person i've known.

viola was horrible today. i was so blur and kept reading the notes wrongly and i found it so difficult to focus. i guess i was really tired then. ahhhh.

im just glad still, that i'm in the kingdom, because that's where i really rest and find peace =) at the end of each day, i can just share my burden among people who are so dear to me and who will always try their best to guide me. love you guys! looking forward to tmr! =D going to pasir ris with my group to have fun and pray =D

2007-03-04T00:08:00.000+08:00

hello CTs! it's time to meet you again, and i know it's going to be freezing and scary, but i'll try my best =) God will be with me!

anyway, i'm looking forward more to after CTs heh heh. shopping for stuff for the trip and restringing our racquets after chem SPA, and the trip on sat =D hope it wont rain during those 4 days. and during our SPEX matches! pray that nothing big goes wrong or anything during the trip.

well, so many things have been happening in the teens lately, both good and bad, but im sure it'll be alright somehow. let's all learn to move on =) tmr's board-games day! but i'll need to mug. just a few more days!

2007-02-24T22:23:00.000+08:00

i've been so lost in everyday events and i realise i havent been checking on how i feel about so many things happening around me. CTs are approaching; i wish i can do better this time but it all seems unachievable many times.

i wish that i didnt have to worry all the time about fees and costs and whether my mom would be able to afford things. i know my viola exam's going to cost a bomb with the lessons, registration fee, piano accompaniment, aural tests training, etc. and plus the kl trip, it's going to be fun i guess, but sometimes i wish i didnt have to go. maybe i shouldnt have continued taking viola lessons, maybe i shouldnt even have taken up tennis - i just think of these many times. Lord, i wish it didnt have to be this way. to be where i am now and to have so many opportunities is my blessing, and i pray so much for my mom to be strong and for us not to burden her even more. but still, thank you Lord, for my life.

tiredddd

2007-02-03T13:09:00.000+08:00

today feels like the accumulation of all the tiredness of the week. but still, this week has been quite alright =)

went with yi rong to STA's office at the national stadium yesterday after school to submit our tournament forms. 6 of us are playing in the coming spex tournament! it's going to be so much fun =D i was looking forward to the coming msia trip too but i dont think i can go anymore cause i've got spa on the monday of the march hols. hope things work out soon, especially the training days with coach

i guess i'll be really busy for the next few months if i'm joining string as an ad-hoc member (although i dont really know how im going to fit in trainings and practices since they fall on the same days now that string changed their practice times again), plus there's my viola exam later in the year. for tennis now i've got to play so many more matches or watch good ppl play and train for doubles with yi rong too. i cant get frustrated on court anymore! no matter how irritating some teachers are with their looooonnnnnggg speeches :p

i hope i get most work done today too. then i'll have fun with the teens tmr =) soccer and captain's ball! let's show some sister power! mwahahaha

long time no blog

2007-01-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

well well, we're almost going into the 4th week of school now! there are so many things happening each day that tires me out at times, but i'm so glad and grateful for my life and the people around me =) that's what makes life interesting, isnt it? the many obstacles, yet having friends and family around me to spice things up. God's truly amazing at how He makes everything fall nicely into place.

good news of the day (alright, maybe my day): david's report is looking quite alright so far! let's continue to pray dear brothers and sisters =)

i guess things are quite alright in school too. im changing my habits of doing work late now and really trying to keep up. and tennis trainings are finally finalised! will need to train harder and build my stamina too hahaha. yi rong's doing a great job as captain =) oh yah and about one of the previous posts where i said she did her math papers real fast, no she's not a scholar, and ok she took the whole day doing the papers, so it's pretty long. heh heh, her math is so many times better than mine still.

being an usher on sundays are fun too =D ej and i are the first ones to greet everyone in the morning! song leading today was great too. cheeros to ej and sharon! it was so nice to see everyone again after a tiring week of school. could see so many weary faces though. rest well teens! we'll have a great time on sunday. love you guys!

faith

2007-01-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

here are some thoughts from my quiet time today. it's the one about having faith of a mustard seed, one that has so much potential to grow and it will if we work towards what we've prayed for, and when it grows we will definitely see great things happen.

Recently, I’ve been thinking and reflecting a lot about my faith in God. Every day, I face the world that is so full of temptations and wrongdoings, even in school where so many people claim to be Christians but whom I also hear vulgarities from or are so led by the world. When David’s condition struck us all yesterday, I questioned the reason for this to happen, but i knew that I must still continue having faith in the Lord that He will take care of everything, and God must have his reasons for letting this happen. Such a thing can easily shake someone’s faith, making them blame God for this. But thinking deeper, I realized that we should focus on the good that has come out of it. Not only are his parents studying the bible, all of us are also reflecting a lot on our lives and how we’ve taken so many things for granted. Through something, God can certainly bring many more times of good things to us. And that’s the faith I choose to have; that God really is in control and that He loves us unconditionally. If it’s his will, let us all accept it and see what other things God has in store for us. Let’s all too trust in the Lord that He’ll bring us far spiritually and one day to heaven, and for now, treasure the Christian life we have and make the best out of it, bringing many more souls into the kingdom of God. I want and need to always build my faith higher, knowing from the start that God can perform miracles and not being shocked when my prayers are answered. So I pray so much that I’ll have courage to share my faith with my friends and with my mom too. I know that it’s tough cause of my mom’s tendency of not being open and my friends who aren’t interested in knowing about God either. Instead of worrying so much about this, I have to learn to trust in God that he has his plans and I have to do what I can now, like being a righteous daughter so that I can gradually interest my mom and share with her what it’s like to be a true Christian, and also being a friend that shines for God and someone who’s not of the world. Life can be fragile, but our faith certainly cannot be.

2006-12-31T00:36:00.000+08:00

i've come to a conclusion that nj people (besides myself of course) are really scary. i'm taking forever to complete just 1 math paper with lots of blank spaces and yi rong just told me she finished 4 in 2 days. i think all the scholars finished all their assignments like in the first week or something.

although i really really want to complete at least the irritating econs essay before the year-end party tomorrow, i really really really dont know how to go about doing it. and there's still the chem test to study for. i cant understand that too =( and lots of times i just dont know who to ask.

but anyway, putting all those headaches aside, tomorrow IS the year end party. mwahahahaa our skit's gonna be great =) it's a sole teen production! be proud of it guys =D after that's going to be super duper fun too! spending the whole night out with the teens makes a great start for the new year. heh heh. we're going to watch so many movies till we see stars

school's starting on wed! im going to have to be much more disciplined next year. anyway im really looking forward to playing with yi rong on wed =) havent played together for so long. today was my last day at spex! coach nigel wasnt there but we still had so much fun with the doubles stuff. hahaha

im going to miss the holidays =(

end of hols

2006-12-29T11:47:00.000+08:00

the new year's approaching real quickly! i've got so many mixed feelings over this. it's good to grow up, being an older sister to the younger teens and stuff =) but woohh, next year's going to be really tough for quite a few of us. studies do make me rather worried, always having to keep up with the rest (when everyone else in my school is like so smart)

well, one thing i want to work on is to grow stronger spiritually, growing more mature and being able to understand more things, and of course growing closer to the teens even more! i know that conflicts have been happening recently, but hey teens, we're still a family no matter what. i just wanna encourage you guys to love each other still, and leave things to God =)

writing resolutions soon! before that there's econs essay (i still dont know what to write. it seems like i forgot almost everything i learnt this year hahaha), and about 4 math papers. oh and studying for the chem test on the very first day of school if i'm not wrong. oh gosh.

stressed?

2006-12-15T00:32:00.000+08:00

things i'll be busy with to remind myself:
- homework
- work for pei ling
- tennis trainings, arranging timings, blah blah
- sat's caroling
- sunday's date
- sunday's skit audition, preparing props, etc.
- christmas party planning
- viola, sourcing for exam books & strings
- more homework, assignments i've barely started, preparing for tests
- etc.

Dear Lord, please grant me the strength i need to last me through all these. i know it'll be tough handling so many things at the same time, but i pray that i'll plan my time well and do each task to the best of my ability. i pray so much that you'll guide me and help me to handle situations wisely, and importantly, not to be discouraged by whatever stress i face but to use it instead to push myself. thank you for always being here for me =) Amen.

nerves

2006-12-12T23:15:00.000+08:00

my match is tomorrow. tomorrow! i cant help but feel nervous. i know my opponent's like x times stronger than me, x>1. but thanks for the support, sisters =) i'll run for all the balls and not be lazy! i just pray and hope that i wont make carelesss mistakes or flop during my tosses for serve. i'll fight on!

physically exhausted, spiritually refreshed!

2006-12-05T23:55:00.000+08:00

i dont know how to start this entry. it's just because i've so much to say about the retreat! it was a blast =) (fio and jacc already tagged before i wrote all these so you can really tell)

well it started off with me already looking super forward to the trip to malacca. i didnt know what would happen, but i did have goals =D

thurs:
met everyone else at 745am at woodlands mrt station and off we went! the bus ride wasnt too long so we didnt sleep much. the service apartment we lived in was great! clean and nice. totally different from the outside hahaha. but it was an awesome place where everyone seemed to be living in just one house but many bedrooms. feels like when we go to heaven and it's all one place and each of us have our place prepared for us =)
went down later to play team-building games. we had such a great time! Diamond people rock :D there was me, shawn, filbert, nichola, erin, jordan and matthew lim. great job guys! so proud of our cheer and the way we worked together =)

fri:
AFAMOSA! playing water slides has never been so fun. walking against the current of the lazy pool was tiring but our team never gave up! jordan's back was all red in the evening. hahaha.

sat:
time to help the poor and needy. went to an old folks' home and spent time talking and getting to know them. it made us really feel for them. after lunch we went to evangalise and i think shawn and matthew did a great job in trying to reach out to people. cheeros to you guys =)

sun:
service at makhota hotel! uncle teck preached =) our new-found friends didnt manage to come though. but it was a convicting lesson still.

well that's just the rough idea of some things we did. i think i learnt a lot from the different lessons by each teenworker, all teaching us to lay our faith on a strong foundation, the rock, our God =) it went well with the retreat theme too - Rock It! - love the shirt heh heh

seeing how so many of us grew spiritually, im just so amazed at how God works. He certainly has his way of doing things and putting every single event in place with a purpose. this retreat has been so memorable to me and it holds a very special place in my heart, and i hope i can continue to bring this zeal on to next year which i know holds so many challenges for me.

thanks to everyone in Teens; you've made my Christian life so meaningful =)

random2

2006-11-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

my viola's A string broke =( now i've gotta use some china string that costs 10 times cheaper than the previous one. rraaaaahhhhhhhh it's so gross.

retreat in 2 days!! really hope the teens can grow much stronger spiritually and with each other too :D can spend time with the younger teens too! everything's gonna be so awesome =D

random

2006-11-27T11:55:00.000+08:00

when am i ever going to start my homework? i have to i have to i have to

a few more days to retreat!!! looking forward to everything there =)

YLTC!

2006-11-20T00:01:00.000+08:00

just came back yesterday in the morning :D:D:D yltc was super duper fun and memorable. the group all of us thought was going to be boring turned out to be so interesting! with the 'shruthi and mr sham' thing and all hahahahaha

every day was filled with things i'll remember for a long time =)
day 1:
obstacle course! i've done some before, but not like jumping from some pole and trying to catch some stick, or climbing wooden rods that are separated almost my height (like the one in jac's blog) with a partner (thanks audrey!) and i did flying fox! the girls had to shout different things as they came down. we all had a great laugh from that. i think we 9 girls were all impressed by the 4 guys in our group cause they helped us so much in a lot of ways!

day 2:
started land X by walking out of the campsite at some ulu place in lim chu kang. for the rest of the day everyone stared at us as we boarded buses and trains and everywhere else hahaha. all of us looked like turtles with the big bags. anyway, we couldnt have been luckier with the lorry ride from the frog farm uncle and being at the goat farm only 5 mins before it closed! we managed to complete so many things except going to east coast park :D i guess my land X group started bonding from here =)

day 3:
finished our last zone for land X in the morning. we were so tired by then, running here and there to the different religious places. then in the afternoon we began our sea X from changi to pasir ris park. some of us had fun watching the rest capsizing and all from the sand cause we-know-why. slept and cooked at pasir ris park

day 4:
woke up early to continue with sea X around pulau ubin and back to changi. sharon and i formed great kayak partners! we call ourselves the TTT (turn turn team) cause we can turn so well when we go off course lol. it was really tiring especially before we stopped at frog island for lunch. i still couldnt see the frog even though so many ppl were trying to show me. haha. well, im going to miss being out there in the water and greenery around us at the coasts and the beautiful sky way above us! i hope woon jeck gets better =) his sunburn was bad.

day 5:
we were woken up at 3am (i thought it was 6) to assemble and zhi tao was missing! the whole camp went to find him and he told us later that he was still sleeping hahaha. anyway i lost my footing when i stepped on some elevated platform and fell on one knee. now i feel like some handicapped person cause i couldnt walk properly today and i think it's slightly swollen. the wound's alright though. just the knee being bruised hurts. well after that we did 10km of brisk walking/marching and 4km of jogging with the group. good job guys! we had quite a few casualties that day. just before we went home there was prize presentation. my group won land X!!! R3D1 :D

in the evening, the straits hall in church looked so beautiful =) wee chung and serene are now married! the wedding was splendid and we teens had the honour of being their ushers =D

going to catch up with my sleep now. looking forward to watching happy feet with the rest of the spongebobbers on thursday! =)

holidays, here i come!

2006-11-07T22:36:00.000+08:00

im spending too much. not on expensive stuff, but it's mainly just on food! ahhhh

i cant wait for the retreat though. heh heh. it's going to be awesome!

before that, there's sleepover at sonia's after OP (and j1 stuff will be officially over mwahahah), YLTC, wee chung's and serene's wedding, bible talks, and so much other fun stuff! we're even going to learn roller-blading and perhaps korean. hahahaha

of course, i promised myself to work hard during the hols too. gotta love studying =)

the return of silvia the great heh

2006-10-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

mwahaha im back =D

tmr's the ascent to truth exam! let's just do our best, guys. just now was fun heh heh. we went to the airport to study! me, fiona, her mom, amelia, yi ming and pei fen. loved the comfy red chair at that coffee place

today was my music theory exam too. so many kids doing the same grade hahaha

im so glad promos are over and we can be promoted and j1's going to over real soon. just some chinese A level paper and OP to go and we're done for the year! im really looking forward to our teens retreat =) it doesnt matter which part of the world we travel to, cause what we gain is so much more. just gotta look deeper and trust God :D

oh well off to my scriptures!

hazey haze

2006-10-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

yesterday was fun! went to auntie vienna's house for dinner. we had yong tau foo =D jean would have loved it and finished all the tofu hahaha. anyway after dinner we went to sembawang park for our mooncake feast and hung lanterns on the tree and stuff like that. contributed a lot to the haze though. ha i predicted that the haze would go up to 120 after last night and it did! not that im glad about it - the haze was horrible today.

nobody really went for tennis today except ashwin and joel. coach nigel made them go back still haha. i should have stayed till my bro's class! the psi reading dropped to about 80 at 3pm and he allowed them to play less intensively. was really looking forward to today's training =(

now that promos are over, i dont want to get my results back. as much as so many ppl think i will easily promote, i know i didnt do well. at the very least, i know i wont be able to retain my subject combination. it's so depressing.

Oh Lord, please give me the faith i need to go through the rest of the exams this year and to face the results. i pray so much for strength and courage!

rahhhhhh

2006-10-04T23:33:00.000+08:00

stupid me. i just typed a whole entry and published it but it didnt go to the next page so i clicked 'refresh'.

well i was talking about now being post-promos and many things that are coming. chinese As, OP, theory exam, work during the hols, stuff like that. and apologies to yuuu sing, jo, mom of zara kinetochore chong - jean, astrid and anna for tmr (enjoy yourselves =D). and me, fion and jacc watching korean dramas, more korean dramas, band of brothers, gandhi, and more korean dramas. something like that.

oh yes and how much i miss tennis. tennis tmr with yi rong! i've been missing the sat trainings and sch trainings for weeks.

now it's just chem SPA tmr morning. oh well.

i still cant believe i clicked the refresh button. i liked my entry =(

2006-09-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

in 6 days and some hours later, it'll be gp promos already =(

many things in school this year have been so uncertain to me. i no longer study with that confidence and zeal that i had last year for the Os. the pace is so different now; the whole environment is. it causes me to worry about not catching up with the rest of my classmates, about not doing well enough to keep my subject combination, about practically almost everything. very often, i forget that God's keeping watch beside me and guiding me along this temporary place he put me in.

but still, He gives me everything i need. going to church on fridays for midweek shouldn't and isn't a burden to me. i know i could use the time to do some extra revision, but what's the point really when i need spiritual encouragement and refreshment? I'm grateful that God has chosen me to be a disciple in His kingdom, that He has prepared a place for me eventually in heaven and for all the people He has blessed me with. the relationships i have in church will not fade away just because we graduate from somewhere or leave for somewhere else; we're going to help each other be great 24/7 christians all the way!

a little message to jasmine:
stay strong girl! it's ok to start afresh =) seek your strength from God and never give up! love ya =D

woweeeeee

2006-09-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

this week has been such fun! thanks to everyone who gave me encouragements for the tournament :D i really had fun.

haha i was super excited about winning the first match on wed, but i think i got a little complacent about today's match, especially when i won the first set. i'll have to try harder the next time =)

tmr's bible talk and bbq!! looking forward to it cause it'll be loads of fun with all the teens =D love being with them cause i feel so comfortable doing stuff for God together and growing together too. well we cant miss out all the crazy things we do too! jacc, fio and i took spastic photos using ivan's mac hahaha

mwahaha refined me

our dear jacinda =D

fiona with her looong neck ahhaha

and finally the 3 of us.

this time a normal photo =D

fion's going to kill me if i put the princess fiona photo here with us laughing at her.

Thanks to ivan for taking the photos and jacinda for sending them to me :D

Lord, thank you for the people you've put into my life. All of them are so special =)

Love you guys!

boo.

2006-09-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

just less than a month to promos! i think im really struggling to do work consistently and to balance everything else. please pray for me, jacc and fio cause we're all pretty worried. but i believe God will bring us through all these =)

went back to my secondary sch yesterday and met so many friends and teachers from last year! ate my favourite mee hoon kuey from the orange bowl stall too :D

i heard from wan yoong about my cousin in school. apparently he became some house captain and a CO exco member too. i was rather surprised actually cause i couldnt tell he'd be the 'known' guy in school lol. anyway plus the results from tennis elections yesterday, i realised i wasn't unhappy or anything about me not getting some high post in school, but a thought came into my mind many times as i sorted out my feelings. somehow i kept remembering a nice phrase among the Christians 'my treasure's up in heaven' and made me really look forward to whatever God's going to provide me up there =D think God has worked quietly in me somehow too. all these made me treasure the spiritual joy that God has given me even more, and i know He'll be there throughout my life, not only for these 2 years

this coming week wont be relaxing or easy, but i musnt give in to my laziness anymore! have to learn how to relax sometimes too. hahaha

drained

2006-08-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

i think the exam blues/purples/greens/pinks/whatever colour you can think of are coming in on me. all i think about all the time now is math math econs bio chem econs math chi PW (argh) math. i couldnt play properly today too! felt so tired and breathless. kenneth says today's an anomaly so everything will get better again. hahaha. well i really need to do much better for promos.

i cant wait to go to heaven. there'll be no exams, no stress, no temptations, no everything-bad. cant wait to see how it looks like! i still remember the time some of the teens were talking about how heaven will be like when we get there. hahaha it was hilarious. someone talked about us flying and ending up having nothing to do cause everything would be done or something like that.

please try to bear with me during this period of time lol. i think those who know me well will kind of expect to see lots of short tempers and black faces from me :p im always like that when exams are around the corner. this time it's promos, then chinese A levels, then oral presentation. i dont know what to do for pw anymore. my group doesnt even think it's substantiated enough and it's kinda vague. but i really dont know what we do anymore. it's just a simple idea. will universities reject people if they fail project work?

the past few days at home havent been very nice but im glad God worked some things out today. my mom, my bro and i played boggle just now and had so much fun finding funny words! hope my mom doesnt get too stressed at work. i know it isnt easy for her even though i often think whatever im doing is tougher than what she does. well im still learning =)

yaye next week is a long holiday week! dont have school on tue, thur (celebrations and seniors' farewell), fri, the weekend and thereafter the sept hols! but i've to go back during that week for SPA and some make-up classes and lectures =( persevere on guys!

oh yah and that week will be the spex tournament. played really badly today and i couldnt even serve properly. rraahhhh. dont have much confidence to play against the top players in singapore when it's my first time trying! a lot of ppl have been so sweet though, encouraging me to just go there and try. i cant possibly win but coach chong told me that even if it's already like 5-0 down, aim to get just one game from my opponent. just one game and i'll be pretty much encouraged! i'll need to work on my mental strength - concentrate, focus. and most importantly, i should pray before, during and after the match too =)

2006-08-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

this week has been filled with stuff!

firstly, TWAD!! i'm so glad we had a chance to appreciate our dear teen workers :D the teens met in the morning in temasek room and we did the deco, skit, song and preparation of everything else within such a short time. i never thought it could be more successful than it was. thanks so much to everyone who helped me put up all the deco stuff! cant thank you guys enough. here's a nice picture i took from fiona's blog

the tennis team played netball against the netball girls on monday! haha i thought we were going to get trashed but it turned out pretty well =) had lots of fun playing myself and seeing the rest of the team working together. the guys were super funny trying to score goals. the sad thing that day was that yi rong's ankle gave way =( hope she gets better to walk again soon! she's on wheels now cause her other injuries arent that minor either

wed was bio trial SPA. it was more of some cooking class to me hahaha. we had to cut and weigh potato samples and cut it somemore and then mash it using the mortar (is that how it's called?) and p-something. it was fun though, except my bubbles wouldnt come out.

training was great too! maricelle and i did 5 sets of 20 rallies - 2 sets first then 60 rallies in a row. we could've continued but our stamina's so low lol. we just gave up when we reached the 3 continued sets. after the coach left all of us played around for a while, then i contined my match with ms chue from 4-2 down. she's such a consistent player and i cant seem to attack very well in matches. we had super long rallies! it was like a matter of who could last longer a lot of times. i lost 7-5 in the end but we had so much fun. =) i need to work in so many areas though!

well tmr's chem SPA. really hope to finish on time. the weekend will be gone again so fast. i hardly have time during weekends to do work at all. i seriously need to study! even if it means cornering myself or something.

dear all, pray for me to focus. (walk to camera) FOCUS. (hahaha taken from agnes's speech today during the OP workshop)

tomorrow's friday! =D

im back!

2006-08-10T00:18:00.000+08:00

yaye my first post! i've not blogged for so long that i forgot my previous blog addresses and all. well here i am =)

didnt play that well yesterday with godwin and ken. hope my wrist gets well soon! i dont know what's wrong with it but it hurts. my mom and mr lim are warning me against sports injuries cause 1. it's expensive to get it healed and 2. (more importantly) i need my hand and wrist and fingers to play my dear viola!

speaking of viola, i've somehow been neglecting it recently. mr lim realised i keep pressing my bow down a lot instead of just pulling, maybe because of tennis. i dont want to go to the extend where i need to choose between them although i know viola's more important. i love them both.

well tomorrow's a study day. it doesnt feel like the promos are coming but they are! my main problem's still econs and ever will be. hahaha